They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Please don't give away my fajitas
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
