U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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