Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
