Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
