Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
