White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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