Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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