Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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