My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
