You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize