im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize