I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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