Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
