Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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