also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
