I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
