dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
