My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
