Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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