we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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