alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
