Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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