Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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