I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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