i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
