if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
