it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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