could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
