tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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