I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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