My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
