So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
