I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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