The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
