I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
