it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
