im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
