i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
