8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
