Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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