been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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