I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
