we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
