Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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