i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
