isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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