The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
