your thong is hanging out like whoa
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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