my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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