I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
