Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
