It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
