I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i've created a new STD.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize