omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
