if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
