Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
