One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
