Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
