yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize