I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
