She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Small penises have feelings too.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
