I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
