And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
